Need to know
- Money talk remains a taboo in South Africa, with most people feeling uncomfortable discussing finances with loved ones.
- Avoiding money conversations increases stress, while open dialogue builds clarity and shared responsibility.
- Therese Havenga of Momentum Savings shares practical tips to help couples talk about money and plan together with confidence.
Do these moments sound familiar? Money comes up in a relationship, and the tone suddenly shifts - whether you're discussing monthly savings, shared expenses, or future plans. These reactions reflect a common experience: the money taboo, where discomfort and silence often surround financial conversations.
But avoiding money talk doesn’t make it go away. It often increases confusion and tension in relationships. The good news is that starting these conversations is often easier than you might think.
Why are South Africans scared to speak about money?
There are several reasons financial conversations feel uncomfortable in South Africa. According to insights from wealthcreatives.co.za, contributing factors include:
- High levels of economic inequality.
- Cultural and linguistic diversity.
- Social stigma around debt and financial struggle.
And this discomfort is not unique to South Africa.
In a 7 October 2025 post the magazine Psychology Today quoted a 2024 Bankrate survey saying that Americans think money is more taboo to talk about than politics, religion or weight. The website logbox.com claims in the United Kingdom speaking about money “is often more taboo than our bedroom activities”.
In other words, avoiding money talk is a global pattern - not a personal failing.
What are the benefits of having money conversations?
While discomfort is common, silence has consequences. The same 1Life Insurance research confirmed that 80% of the participants acknowledge how much peace of mind these conversations bring.
Money coach Marnita Oppermann explains that in her work with couples and small companies, particularly family-run businesses, open financial communication is essential. It shifts the burden from one person to the collective.
How to prepare mentally
Before you dive into the numbers, you need the right mindset.
10 expert tips on how to handle a difficult money conversation
Oppermann offers practical guidance for initiating financial discussions in a constructive way:
- Prepare before you speak:
Be mindful of the words you use and how you say it.
- Don’t sound judgmental or anxious:
Blaming and shaming about money is counterproductive.
- Be mindful of your tone:
If you notice that you are speaking in a negatively, stop yourself and think of how you can change the statement into a more positive one.
- Build a clear financial picture:
Assess your financial status and spending patterns to see where you can make changes.
-
Draw up a realistic budget together:
Track this progress as a family.
- Make goals achievable – don’t be overambitious.
What can we change today, this week, this month?
- Focus on shared goals, not shortcomings:
These can be to pay off debt or save for a holiday.
- Let each person contribute according to their strengths:
Is someone better with discipline, with bargain hunting or with keeping the budget updated?
- Include your children in financial discussions:
Set clear spending boundaries; even small children can understand and relieve the burden of expectations.
- Stay future-focused
Remind everyone that short-term discipline creates hope for better times ahead.
The bigger takeaway
Avoiding money conversations does not remove financial stress - it tends to intensify it. Money is ultimately a tool; it shouldn’t be given power over you. When people communicate openly, they are more likely to solve problems together and build stronger financial foundations.
While starting the conversation is vital, getting a professional perspective can be extremely helpful. A financial adviser can provide the objective advice needed to turn these honest discussions into a structured, long-term plan.
The real challenge isn’t whether we can talk about money, but whether we’re willing to overcome the discomfort and start the conversation.
This blog post was adapted from a recent article seen on iol.co.za.
Get advice
Real financial wellbeing comes from talking openly about money. With Momentum Savings and its long-term savings plans, a financial adviser can help turn those conversations into achievable financial goals.
About the author
Therèse Havenga
Head of Business Transformation at Momentum Savings
Therèse has over 20 years’ experience in financial services, spanning consumer insights, neuroscience, strategy, client experience, innovation and digital transformation. She holds a Master’s in Research Psychology and certifications in change management, product ownership, customer experience, coaching, and digital transformation. She is passionate about people-centred design, guiding transformation, and creating meaningful, insight-led impact.
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